Dear Brother in Heaven,
Happy 66th birthday! I only wish I could tell you to your face and hug you. I wish right now we were all out celebrating at some restaurant where they'd come by and put a hat on your head and serenade you while you protested, and we all laughed and, of course, put it all over social media. I'd give anything for one of your big bear hugs about now. I never in a million years ever dreamed that I wouldn't be delivering you birthday greetings to you here on Earth. I thought it would be years before I even thought about you leaving this life and starting your eternal journey in Heaven. I guess God had other plans. I really try to trust His judgement, but sometimes I wish He would check with me first, you know? haha Oh well....out of my control, which you know I HATE! However, it is what it is, and I/we have to make the best of it. It sure is hard, though, even harder than I could have ever imagined. You were the rock to so many people, not just me, so your absence is felt every single day. Speaking for myself, and I'm sure many others, your demise has left a huge hole in my heart that I don't know how to fill.
If you were here, I don't think you'd be very proud of me. I was unsuccessful in finding gainful employment last year after my unemployment ran out. Even though I do take full responsibility, a large part of that was due to fear and depression. I let those bastards get the best of me, and I failed....miserable I might add. Trevor and I moved back to Houston(Katy) to live with Janet as she has been so graciously opening her home to us and has helped me more than I dare deserve. I do my best to help her around the house and contribute where and when I can, but I'm still mad at myself for screwing up so badly. That one event has led to so much more loss, and it's all my fault. I lost my apartment, my cats, and came really close to losing my car. However, it could be worse. I won't name names, but I've had other blessings in my life recently who have helped even though I don't feel I deserve it, but God bless them! On a more positive note, I am pretty much gainfully employed now. I started after the first of the year as a professional pet sitter, and I love it! Yeah, I get paid for picking up dog shit! WOOF! WOOF! LOL!!!!! You would also be proud of your niece and nephew. Tori is in her 4th year of teaching and is doing graduate school online. She has an awesome boyfriend, and they are the cutest couple. You'd really like Evan. He's a good guy and adores Tori. Trevor graduated from SFA a couple of months ago. He may even go to graduate school at some point. He's still exploring all his options. I have to attribute their awesomeness in many ways to you. You were such a great male role model for them. They adored you and miss you very much. They still hold your memory close to their hearts as do I.
I've tried to stay busy today so I don't think much about the fact it's your birthday. I don't have much else to say except that we all miss you. I wish you were here today to go riding your motorcycle with Janet and perhaps Keith and Jayne, too, all on Route 66 for your 66th birthday. Wouldn't that have been a trip?!?! LOL I can see all of you smiling and laughing and having the time of your lives. Instead, we cherish your memory while we hold back tears that well when we think about you. The anniversary of your accident and passing are coming up. We made it through the year of "firsts", but the second year isn't much better. Still, we'll muddle through and even try to smile at your memory. Again, I may find myself failing at that, but I'll give it the 'ol college try. haha The deal is...I don't want your memory. I want you here with us, living your life to the fullest with your family and friends and watching your grandbabies grow up. I guess God had other plans...
Till we meet again, dear Brother...And if you want to and it's possible, visit me in my dreams. I've had a few about you, and I can't help but believe those were visitations. I wanted it to be so anyway. And if you should see my angel baby Tyler, please tell him his mom hasn't forgotten about him. This Thursday will be 28 years. What a week this is going to be! haha Seriously, I love you and miss you.
Love,
Sis
Happy 66th birthday! I only wish I could tell you to your face and hug you. I wish right now we were all out celebrating at some restaurant where they'd come by and put a hat on your head and serenade you while you protested, and we all laughed and, of course, put it all over social media. I'd give anything for one of your big bear hugs about now. I never in a million years ever dreamed that I wouldn't be delivering you birthday greetings to you here on Earth. I thought it would be years before I even thought about you leaving this life and starting your eternal journey in Heaven. I guess God had other plans. I really try to trust His judgement, but sometimes I wish He would check with me first, you know? haha Oh well....out of my control, which you know I HATE! However, it is what it is, and I/we have to make the best of it. It sure is hard, though, even harder than I could have ever imagined. You were the rock to so many people, not just me, so your absence is felt every single day. Speaking for myself, and I'm sure many others, your demise has left a huge hole in my heart that I don't know how to fill.
If you were here, I don't think you'd be very proud of me. I was unsuccessful in finding gainful employment last year after my unemployment ran out. Even though I do take full responsibility, a large part of that was due to fear and depression. I let those bastards get the best of me, and I failed....miserable I might add. Trevor and I moved back to Houston(Katy) to live with Janet as she has been so graciously opening her home to us and has helped me more than I dare deserve. I do my best to help her around the house and contribute where and when I can, but I'm still mad at myself for screwing up so badly. That one event has led to so much more loss, and it's all my fault. I lost my apartment, my cats, and came really close to losing my car. However, it could be worse. I won't name names, but I've had other blessings in my life recently who have helped even though I don't feel I deserve it, but God bless them! On a more positive note, I am pretty much gainfully employed now. I started after the first of the year as a professional pet sitter, and I love it! Yeah, I get paid for picking up dog shit! WOOF! WOOF! LOL!!!!! You would also be proud of your niece and nephew. Tori is in her 4th year of teaching and is doing graduate school online. She has an awesome boyfriend, and they are the cutest couple. You'd really like Evan. He's a good guy and adores Tori. Trevor graduated from SFA a couple of months ago. He may even go to graduate school at some point. He's still exploring all his options. I have to attribute their awesomeness in many ways to you. You were such a great male role model for them. They adored you and miss you very much. They still hold your memory close to their hearts as do I.
I've tried to stay busy today so I don't think much about the fact it's your birthday. I don't have much else to say except that we all miss you. I wish you were here today to go riding your motorcycle with Janet and perhaps Keith and Jayne, too, all on Route 66 for your 66th birthday. Wouldn't that have been a trip?!?! LOL I can see all of you smiling and laughing and having the time of your lives. Instead, we cherish your memory while we hold back tears that well when we think about you. The anniversary of your accident and passing are coming up. We made it through the year of "firsts", but the second year isn't much better. Still, we'll muddle through and even try to smile at your memory. Again, I may find myself failing at that, but I'll give it the 'ol college try. haha The deal is...I don't want your memory. I want you here with us, living your life to the fullest with your family and friends and watching your grandbabies grow up. I guess God had other plans...
Till we meet again, dear Brother...And if you want to and it's possible, visit me in my dreams. I've had a few about you, and I can't help but believe those were visitations. I wanted it to be so anyway. And if you should see my angel baby Tyler, please tell him his mom hasn't forgotten about him. This Thursday will be 28 years. What a week this is going to be! haha Seriously, I love you and miss you.
Love,
Sis
There are no words to say how moving this was to read. Darn good thing you left for yet another over night pet sitting job. Otherwise we would be sharing tears together! Love you sis.
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